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Choosing the Right Partner for You

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Choosing your mate is a big decision that will impact your life dramatically in every area. Make sure you get it right the first time... or perhaps like me it will be the next time! Whatever the case may be.

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Whether you're newly single or just starting into the world of dating and romance, there are definitely some guidelines to follow to find that right person for you. It's not just a matter of fate, as much as many of us (especially us ladies), would like to believe in the fairytale. Experience soon teaches us that just isn't the case. It takes more than just a few sparks and butterflies to be sure you've met the right person for you. If you're looking for a life partner you want a real and lasting connection with, you're going to want much more than that, and it's best to find out right from the start if that person is right for you -- or more importantly -- if they're not.

First off you need to know what it is you truly need and want in a partner. A good way to start is by making a list of your ideal musts in a relationship. This is so you can get very clear in your mind what it is you want in a partner. It makes sense that if you know what it is you want, and you have a clearer picture of the kind of person you want in your life, the more likely it is that you will attract that type of person into your life. Of course you want someone who has similar values as yours as well. So make sure your list is realistic and that the values and qualities you are listing are qualities in yourself as well, and things that you live yourself. For instance, it wouldn't make sense to write down that the person must be an animal lover if you don't ever care to have pets or be around animals much. No more than it would to say he or she must believe in God or go to church if you don't have those beliefs yourself.

It can seem a little daunting at first, but if you have a hard time making a good, solid list just try to think of all of the things you would never tolerate from a mate in a relationship and make your list the opposite of those things. We all know without a doubt what we don't want in a partner, so in contrast we should be able to take from that list to make a list of attributes that are important to us. For instance if you know you don't want a partner who smokes or drinks, you know they must be a non-drinker or a non-smoker. If you know you don't want to be with anyone who has low standards, then you know you do want someone who is a high achiever. Or if you don't want to be with someone who hates to travel you know that the person must love to travel, or at the very least like to go places sometimes. Make sure you make your list of criteria as specific as you can without making it into an absolute impossibility to meet the person. Some of the things on your lists might be things that you want in a mate, but may not be absolute musts. Make sure you get as specific as you can.

Of course you have to be honest with yourself and think about what kind of person you need to be in order to attract the kind of person you want into your life. Get honest with yourself and make note of whether or not you can honestly expect this person to be attracted to you. Sometimes we need to do some real work on ourselves before we can attract the right person into our life. Relationships are a two way street!

And lastly, be confident and sure you WILL meet the right person for you. Picture what your life will be like in all aspects when that person is in your life. How you'll feel. Imagine it, fantasize about it, have fun with it. Try to make your fantasies and your inner dialogue as real as possible and before you know it you will meet that someone. I guarantee it!

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