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Dating Doesnt Always Mix With Mens Hobbies and Womens Hobbies

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Nowadays, women often enjoy many things that used to interest only men, but there are still things that remain almost exclusively man stuff, and sometimes these can make you unattractive! Furthermore, given the general single minded enthusiasm that mono-tasking men can apply, they take up time that can be spent dating and looking for girls, so this article explains some of the cautions that should be employed with certain man-hobbies.

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It seems to be apocryphal, but a friend of mine often claimed he quoted Oscar Wilde when he said "women talk such nonsense, but they do it so delightfully." Women themselves don't seem to be as complimentary - I saw a T-Shirt in the USA once that said "Boys are stupid, let's throw rocks at them."

So while we may roll our eyes when girls go shopping for days at a time, spend all night getting ready and get excited about shoes and handbags and things like that, it doesn't usually make them less attractive to us (though I did once fancy a girl I met in Scotland and found her even more attractive when she told me she wasn't very interested in shoes). That's just what girls do, and we love them for that.

On the other hand, things that guys like, particularly the things that even nowadays girls aren't very interested in, can make guys less attractive to women.

Gender stereotyping at its worst, I know, but that seems to be the deal that we find in the western world today.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of girls that like football, rugby, athletics and all manner of sports that we used to think only appealed to guys. And one of the sexiest women I know is a very competent race car driver and she is familiar with more details about high performance cars and bikes than I will ever even care about. But here's the thing. Girls have never really embraced the pleasures of:

1. sci-fi


2. air guitar


3. potato sandwiches


4. home beer making


5. collecting action figures


6. making aircraft kits


7. revising famous battles with scale model soldiers


8. car repairs and other mechanical or DIY projects that are never actually completed


9. looking at tanks


10. operating a model railway or photographing trains

It's great to have a hobby, and these are great hobbies, but maybe exercise caution before explaining their joys to a potential date. Don't assume that she would be interested, or even impressed, and don't even think of sharing an afternoon doing any of these would be a good idea for a first date. This is coming from a guy that once spent an afternoon with a gorgeous cello player in the UK's largest museum of experimental aircraft - I have learnt my lesson.

Furthermore, don't be too expectant of meeting a girl that shares any of these hobbies or passions. I have a friend who is very interested in anything to do with trains and railways. At least, to me he seems interested -- he has 25,000+ photographs of them indexed in a filing cabinet -- but he assures me that most of his friends are more "into" trains than he is. He would like to meet a girl that is just as interested in trains; he is usually single.

Dreams and aspirations are important, and values, standards and self-esteem are very important, but I think there is a place for realistic goals.

My advice here is to look for a compromise, and present things to a prospective date in a way that will appeal to her. Which might mean keeping quiet about the big boy toys, geek activity and man-projects for a while.

Initially, when she wants to spend time with you, you will need to be able to give her some time, but she will also have to appreciate that you can't always be there, and having other things to do can introduce a bit of scarcity to your presence (which is psychologically useful as long as she does actually demonstrate some interest in you) and it makes you look like an industrious guy that has other things going on in his life.

It may be important to make sure she doesn't get concerned that you are off seeing other women, but be careful about how you reveal your geeky side. Then these distractions can be introduced as a way of keeping you "out of trouble" when she inevitably needs to leave you for a while to do her own things.

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