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Ego Defense Mechanisms - Start Having Close Relationships

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We all have egos and ego defense mechanisms. They can help us survive when something unwanted happens, but in relationships they can do more harm than good.

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We all have egos and ego defense mechanisms. They can help us survive when something unwanted happens, but in relationships they can do more harm than good.

In case you are not familiar with the ego concept, then it is a mental image we have created of ourselves. It is represented by the word "I". It is a shield we have against the world and to a large extent we form our relationships between these shields.

The magic happens when you connect with someone on a deeper level, behind the ego. When your weaknesses are displayed, you have nothing to hide. This is the place where true connection is made. It takes courage to let yourself be this way, usually people get there gradually.

This is also the place where true power comes from. If you can take the "heat" of the world without the ego, you do not need protection, you become lighter and much happier as a person. Because sustaining your ego takes energy. It is actually hard work and as you progress on self development path, becomes unnecessary.

Instead you can divert the energy into creating something more positive, something useful to improve your life.

For now, accept that it is there. The key here is to recognize when ego defense mechanisms are in action. They rarely have place in intimate relationships. They tend to do more harm than good.

In fact, the more you act upon your ego and do not listen to your heart, the more misery you bring upon yourself and the less intimate the relationship is. It is hard to make a connection with someone, if you are afraid of letting your shield down.

When the person is a good person, you have to take the risk. This is the path to a real connection and being connected with each other is one of the prerequisites for happiness.

This is also where the term "war of the sexes" comes from, like we would have to be at war. I am telling you here that it is not so, we all want the same things and should be open and available to each other.

You have the opportunity to start seeing the ego defense mechanisms in interpersonal connections. Try to listen to your heart more. This way your relationships will grow stronger over time.

You must not confuse it with letting people use you. Here is where you use your common sense and draw the line. This is how you recognize the good people. With them you can connect on a different level without wanting and demanding things from each other, but instead just being there and enjoying the moment.



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