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How To Love A Man Without Scaring Him Off

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So you met the guy of your dreams and you think to yourself, \"This could be it.\" He fits all of your most important criteria - and more. He calls when he says he will, he shows up on time, he brings you thoughtful gifts, he takes you out on interesting dates, and your conversation seems to flow. Recently, you have gotten past the initial niceties and he remains attentive and loving, kind and caring. He talks about future plans and you feel your relationship is in the bag. Watch out!

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So you met the guy of your dreams and you think to yourself, "This could be it." He fits all of your most important criteria - and more. He calls when he says he will, he shows up on time, he brings you thoughtful gifts, he takes you out on interesting dates, and your conversation seems to flow. Recently, you have gotten past the initial niceties and he remains attentive and loving, kind and caring. He talks about future plans and you feel your relationship is in the bag.

Watch out! Many women have been caught in this exact same trap,. The man pursues them with a gusto. He says loving and even seductive words. He brings her gifts, acts interested in her lifestyle and work, treats her friends nicely and spends lots of quality time with her. She believes this honeymoon period will continue forever.

First, follow the 90 day rule. Realize that you actually know very little about another person for the first 90 days. No matter how wonderful someone may appear, no matter what fantastic stories you hear, you do not really know what is true and what may be exaggerated or downright untruths.

Now begins the tricky part. At the beginning, you may have not been that interested in this person or you may have resisted his passes. His hormones may have been flowing wildly and for the moment, he appeared to only have eyes for you. You are slipping into dangerous waters here if you believe the relationship will remain the way it has begun. Everything changes and so does that initial delightful period of "limerance" and lust.

After 2 1/2 months of regular phone calls and predictable dates, one week he doesn't call for several days and you do not yet have a planned date for the weekend. What do you do? I can tell you what to NOT DO.

Instead, make sure to keep yourself very busy. If you haven't attended a social event, now would be a good time to do just that. If you haven't met a friend for dinner in awhile, schedule the appointment. If you were thinking about seeking a new job, spend time creating your resume, searching online for potential jobs or new career opportunities. If you have a hobby, get absorbed in it. If all else fails, go shopping.

Your goal is to show that you care, when you are with him, but make sure he knows that you have a full and satisfying life when he is not there. Let him call and have difficulty reaching you. Let him begin to wonder what you are doing and whether you still care about him.

This "game" of making yourself be seen as an independent, comfortable person who cares and loves but doesn't need too much, is exactly the quality that most men cannot tolerate. They want to own you and control you. That challenges them and peaks their interest. Become a loving, independent person, a feminine woman who loves the company of a man, especially this man, but a woman who can just as easily be without him if he doesn't measure up to the standards of what she truly needs.



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