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How to Identify Your Perfect Mate

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Single and seeking your soul mate? Here are five concrete steps you can take to find the love of your life.

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Believe it or not, finding your perfect mate is completely possible. But if you don't believe this, stop reading here, because the most important principle for success in anything is "What you believe you can achieve."

Here are the precise five steps you can take to find your perfect mate:

Step One: Allow yourself to be single

Sounds paradoxical, but if you want to find your perfect mate you must not be involved with people that aren't a good fit for you. Staying available (and single) can be hard, but necessary for finding the love of your life. Let your motto be "'I'd rather be single than settle!"

Step Two: Get ready

Wanting a relationship is not the same as being ready for one. Handle any unfinished business that might sabotage your future relationship- legal, financial, emotional baggage, kid issues, problems with your former partners, school or job demands, etc. It would be a tragedy to finally find your soul mate, only to have the relationship bomb because you weren't ready.

Step Three: Identify your top deal-breakers

You have non-negotiable relationship deal-breakers. What are they? Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn't meet all of them.

Step Four: Find your perfect mate by following these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

• Scouting (find compatible people to meet; on the internet, through friends, etc)


• Sorting (assess chemistry and quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)


• Screening (collect enough data to identify any possible relationship deal-breakers)


• Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the data)

Implement these four steps as long as it takes to find your perfect mate (don't worry, it will happen faster than you think).

Step Five: Get support

Don't do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating. Get a coach and lean on your friends and family for support to stay on track.

This is the most important relationship and journey of your life. Finding your perfect mate requires developing yourself and your life so that you're ready to attract and keep the love of your life. Be proactive and go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just "happen." Now, go for it!

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