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Keeping Your Heart Open in Hell

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The human heart can move mountains, heal others, lead organisations, raise families, and do great things, and, when it\'s closed it can do great damage. This blog post explores the how and the why to keep your heart open in hell.

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No matter how we feel or even what is going on around us in our lives, we need to guard against getting a heavy heart.

A heavy heart is a hopeless heart. It gets darkened by things like: Loss, Disappointment, Frustration, and most common of all, Worry about the future - Uncertainty.

I deal with these demons in my life just as I did when I was 10 years old. 50 years of spiritual development does not eradicate anything from life, it just makes things that were once enemies, friends. So, Loss, Disappointment, Frustration, and Uncertainty are now friends and I invite them for dinner when they are in town.

The reason they come to town is because my heart invites them. Unlike my previous understanding in which I thought these demons caused my heart to become darkened to happiness, it's quite the opposite. When my heart becomes darkened to happiness these friends, the four demons, drop in for supper.

I used to fight them off. Like with a stick. I used alcohol, food, lovers, spirituality, shopping and more... but those "anti Demon" sticks often made things worse. I was fighting the effect of my dark moments, not the cause.

So, now I know that if I have a feeling of Loss, Disappointment, Frustration, and most common of all, Uncertainty, they're just reminders that, somewhere inside, my heart has closed.

But what is this thing we call heart? Surely we know that it is not the physical heart. Mine still thumps and thumps in spite of everything. Surely it is not inside the body although we do hold our hands to our heart when we feel that dark pain.

The heart of something is the centre of it. Whether it's a city, the heart of the city, an argument, the heart of the topic, or simply a piece of art, that touches our heart strings, heart refers to the core, the centre and it is an experience, rather than a thing.

We say "she has a dark heart" or "he has a broken heart" or "they have a hearty meal" or "there's just no heart in it" and we know, with clarity what is meant in each expression. It is a feeling we get.

Once, before consumer goods were mass produced a buyer would be keen to meet the designer, or the maker of clothes to get the feeling of the clothing before they purchased. Now, this is replaced by brand, and sometimes, it is through associations with non profit organisations that we link brand and heart. McDonald's is criticised for its low end quality and yet, I've witnessed the most astonishing heart in their playground, colours, icon and hospital donations... Heart, it seems can be communicated even if, in the judgments of others, the action is not gaining their approval.

There are heartless leaders, heartless parents, heartless business people, heartless lovers and yet, their actions may be decorated with compassion. The question, it seems is always, what is there intention? The boss who lets you go home early or gives you a second chance in the office might be acting compassionately but do they care, or are they compliant with a cultural code. I don't think heart can be faked.

In Nepal there's a grumpy Nun. She's really tough on people. If you come to her and she's in a bad mood she'll tell you in her very direct Tibetan tongue to "piss off." And yet, for the millions of people who love this lady, this leadership, this surface is only a crust. Her heart is gold and nothing she does is without a magnificent intent. Seems, too often we measure a person on their words, ideas and behaviour and too little on their intention.

Opening a Dark Heart... Dealing with the Demons

Some of the most attractive women I've met, and some of the most charismatic men I've met, have dark hearted intent, with light hearted facade's. It seems the role of actors extends past the theatre and into life. The more books that are written on "self help" the more actors we create in the world. One must be careful of words like "GOT TO - HAVE TO and SHOULD" in life because these are the markers of a false facade, and usually darkness covered in fairy lights.

The Keys to Opening a Darkened Heart

1. Acceptance of the four demons.

Loss, Disappointment, Frustration and Uncertainty are not the cause of Darkness. However we fight them as if they are. It is really important to welcome these four because they bring with them, their opposites. Gain, Achievement, Inspiration and Clarity. Simply, if we look at life as with seven areas, one topic in one area of life may be disappointing then simply look to the other six areas of our life to find achievement, it's opposite.

2. High Emotion versus Low Emotion

Some will argue that there are good and bad emotions, but this is not healthy. There are low emotions that cause their own benefit and drawback, and, there are high emotions that cause their own benefit and drawback. All emotions have balance. But the lack of awareness of those balances makes emotion a confusion with a God. When most people think "intuition" - or "Gut Feel" or "How I feel" they speak in emotional language and therefore inherently, corrupted language. All emotion closes the human heart because of it's one sided, unbalanced interpretation of circumstance. High emotion is less unbalanced (sorry about the double negative). Low emotions are anger, fun, hilarity, jealousy, fear, guilt, enthusiasm, passion and lust. Higher emotions are Kindness, Generosity, Compassion and Thankfulness. As noted, all emotions are dual, however higher emotions are less polarised, less extreme and therefore more from the heart.

3. Trust and adaptation

Expectations block the heart Only expectations can keep a heart shut. If we value our opinions, expectations and judgements higher than a good heart, then we'll reject those people, places and things that contradict our expectations. But if we value an open heart over being right, we'll modify our expectations to meet reality, and therefore stay healthy.

4. Find Your Heart and Keep it Open In Hell

In everyday life we have the opportunity to make choices all day. We can choose stress, worry, low emotions, expectations and therefore mind over heart, or we can choose to keep our heart open in hell.

The world is an emotional space, It thrives on lower emotion. Products are bought and sold on lower emotion, ego's are created from it, emergencies are dealt with through it, and sex, well sex functions on the lowest of it. Lower emotions are the cornerstone to the mass consciousness of consumption and survival in a democratic world, including freedom of speech and save the one legged, blue spotted, four headed frog... Lower emotion suckers us in and closes our heart.

To keep your heart open in this complex environment is nothing more than a miracle. Alcohol, love, sex, money, family, friends, Churches and books eventually fail us. We are left simply with a choice. Kindness, Compassion, Generosity and Thankfulness help filter those choices into lower or higher emotion, but that's still an emotion, still unclear.... we are, even when we use the skills of emotional balancing, left with a choice...

Trust our heart or not... and this trust can only come when we find Balance, Centred, Calm

Balance in the Mind

Centered in the Body

Calm in the Spirit

These three - all at once lead us to the true nature of our heart and the absence of any one of them, leads to the closing of it. And we'll know when our heart is closed, because those four visitors mentioned above, Loss, Disappointment, Frustration and Uncertainty will come knocking at our door. Welcome them, because they are simply here as a reminder to get back, to you.

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