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Enjoying Sex As an End in Itself

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But there could be various ways of using sex as a means to an end. A girl might have sex with her boyfriend even though she doesn\'t want to, but because she\'s \"being a good girlfriend\".



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There are two type of activities in this world...an action can either be a means to some end, or an end-in-itself. This is actually quite philosophical and we're not going to go into it here. What I want to discuss, though, is enjoying sex as an end in itself, as opposed to a means to an end.

What does this mean?

Let's look at an example...when you play a friendly game of soccer with your friends, is there really any point to the game other than just the enjoyment of it? I mean, maybe you are keeping track of the score -- there's that aspect. But really the main reason why everyone plays is because the game itself is enjoyable. At the end of the day, whoever had the most goals might get a little bit of friendly bragging rights, but ultimately everyone enjoys it. Everyone just wanted to play a game of soccer. There was no point to the game, other than the game itself.

And this is what I mean by an "end in itself". When any type of action is an end in itself, then it is done purely for the enjoyment of the act itself.

Now, how would people go about treating sex as a means to an end, as opposed to an end in itself? Well, for example, when some guys sleep with girls for the first time, they will be more focused on getting the proverbial "notch on their belt", as opposed to the actual sex. In other words, they won't be enjoying the sex that much, but rather the idea of how they've "conquered" the girl.

In fact, there could be various ways of using sex as a means to an end. A girl might have sex with her boyfriend even though she doesn't want to, but because she's "being a good girlfriend". In this situation, she wouldn't be enjoying sex as an end in itself, but using it as means to keeping her boyfriend satisfied. Sex could be used for many things, such as cheating on someone, "getting back" at someone or proving how "good in bed" you are.

And it's not just guys who sometimes use sex as a means to an end. A lot of people on both sides do it for various reasons.

Why is having sex as an "end in itself" important, besides the fact that using it in any other way is usually manipulative?

Well, any activity that is worthwhile is best performed with full immersion. For example, when you're playing a competitive sport, you have to be fully focused on what is immediately happening and even the slightest distracting thoughts will take away the ability to perform at your best levels. This is true of any activity requiring significant concentration, whether it's playing a musical instrument, playing a competitive sport, dancing or landing a plane during bad weather.

To enjoy amazing sex, it is essential that we are fully immersed in it. We can't be thinking of notches on our belt or how this is keeping our partner happy or trying to impress someone. When sex is enjoyed simply and purely as an act in itself, that is when we can truly reach the deep levels of enjoyment and fulfillment that come with it.

Have fun!



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